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Making the Pie Higher
by Gideon Evans

George W. Bush has become famous for the nicknames he has invented for his cabinet members. But what a lot of people don’t know is that he has a nickname for almost everything else. To give you an example, here is a page ripped out of his daily planner for April 17th, 2001.

  7:00 Get out of Mr. Bedbed. Have a sprinkle dinkle and a dental doosey

8:00 AM Chow with Bushette

8:45 Meet with Heart-No-Good to talk about Fudgie the Budget

9:00 Meet with Salt N Peppa in the Round Room

10:00 Meet with Head Honcho of Jew Land

10:20 Chat with The Evil Ones

11:15 Consult with Mr. Make 'Em Up

12:02 Lunch Meeting at The House

1:00 Open and close mouth while making sounds regarding raxruts

2:15 Get aboard Whoooooosh Zoooooom!!

2:25 Take off for Lucky Land

5:00 Land in Lucky Land

6:00 Meet with Disneyland Bush

7:00 Tasty morsels with Mr. Puke-on-Japan Man

9:00 Taxi to Angarangagoogoopie

9:30 Yippee Time!

9:37 Go to Mr. Bedbed


Glossary of Terms

Mr. Bedbed: bed

Sprinkle dinkle: shower

Dental doosey: brush teeth

AM chow: breakfast

Bushette: Laura Bush, the First Lady

Heart-No-Good: Dick Cheney, the Vice President

Fudgie the Budget: the budget

Salt N Peppa: Donald Rumsfeld and Colin Powell

Round Room: Oval Office

Head Honcho of Jew Land: Ariel Sharon, Prime Minister of Israel

The Evil Ones: the press

Mr. Make 'Em Up: presidential speech writer

The House: International House of Pancakes

Open and close mouth while making sounds: give speech

Raxruts: tax cuts

Whoooooosh Zoooooom!: Airforce One

Lucky Land: Florida

Disneyland Bush: Jeb Bush, George W.’s brother

Tasty Morsels: dinner

Mr. Puke on Japan Man: George Bush, Sr., former President

Angarangagoogoopie: hotel

Yippee Time: Make love to First Lady



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DUCTS summer issue 2001
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