duct duct duct DUCTS.ORG Issue 12 | Winter 2003 the webzine of personal stories   duct
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A Letter to the Editors

Ben Aldred


ear Sirs,

As the leader of a movement that was recently profiled in your "Eyes on the Town" section, I must strongly object to the recent article, "Where's My Fucking Beer, Assholes?" by Artie Robinson.

As head of the "Free Beer" movement, I was very exited, nay ecstatic, when Mr. Robinson contacted us about doing a story about our organization. The hope among our members was that this article would illuminate the struggles faced by our organization and perhaps bring us to the attention of the larger community, as the "Eyes on the Town" section is one of the most widely-read sections of the paper. Imagine our surprise when Mr. Robinson's article was published. We originally hoped that his titular rage was directed against those preventing us from achieving a Free Beer. Our reaction swiftly changed when Mr. Robinson referred to us as, "fatuous misers incapable of human kindness" and called our meeting a, "niggardly refusal of libations."

These statements were grossly out of line with the particulars of Mr. Robinson's visit to our organization. While he was somewhat distant during the meeting, we assumed that was merely professional journalistic aloofness. At the post-meeting reception, he approached me and we had a meaningful conversation regarding our problem. As I remember it, Mr. Robinson approached me and said, "Nice meeting; now how do I get my beer?" I was impressed and touched by the personal affection he showed our Mr. Beer. While some of us who have been in the movement and have corresponded with David over the years refer to him as "ours," few newcomers feel as strongly. I informed Mr. Robinson of our slogan, "Only with great effort will come a free Beer." At that, Robinson's face filled with a righteous fury, and he left-we assumed to pen a scathing article about the prison system that kept a man imprisoned for indecent exposure for more than 20 years.

Mr. Robinson, know that our leaflet and flyering campaigns bring in hundreds of interested calls each month. Know that our monthly information sessions are filled with people who leave in anger over this tragic situation. Why, just two months ago a session became a near riot, with members chanting, "We want Beer, we want Beer!" Obviously, this issue is an inflammatory one and the government should take notice of this public outcry, and free Beer!

As a last note, we here at the Free Beer Society are disturbed by Mr. Robinson's frequent use of epithets in his article that are usually reserved for the Basque people. We at the FBS are not of Basque descent, nor do we have any connections to the Basque people, though we sympathize with their plight.

For those interested in our meetings, look for our fliers bearing the society's name. Together we can bring about Free Beer!


Richard Head

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