Say
Hello to
Bachelor Girl
by
Anne Chelnik
It gives the Ducts masters great pleasure to introduce you to the mistress of our newest duct. Wise beyond her years, Bachelor Girl will tell you what she's done wrong, so that you may never repeat the mistakes of her past.
"...a voyeur-about-town..."
Old maid, spinster, maiden, bachelorette, bachelor girl, spouseless one (WHY does my 1962 Roget's International Thesaurus also define it as "single blessedness?").
I once enjoyed going alone to movies, plays, dances, dinner, vacations about as much as getting a PAP smear. But by my late 30s, I'd come to enjoy being fully exposed to the world, a silent witness, a voyeur-about-town. If occasionally I felt a pinch when happy, hand-holding couples passed on the street, it once had been a chronic ache. I still wished for companionship, but I'd grown grateful for my freedom.
And that, of course, is when HE arrived.
Have your friend and relatives been telling you for years,"It'll happen when you least expect?" And when you ask, "How will I know," do they tell you, "You'll just know?"
Don't you just HATE that?
Me too. But it's true.
Don't waste your time looking for love at the Kabbalah Center or pay for some silly dating service or relationship coach. I'll take you behind the scenes at the personals desk of a New York newspaper; fill you in on cyber-dating and how to work it; definitively answer the question: Shoe or nose or finger size? We'll chat about good sex with bad men and the real deal on STDs. We'll dish about commitment-phobes, and how to know if YOU are one.
"...really STRANGE dates..."
I'll tell you about really BAD dates, really short dates, and really STRANGE dates. And how to tell when you find a fish you really shouldn't throw back.
Feel
free to write with your comments, questions and relationship stories.
Old maids, bachelor girls and blessed singles: this is for you.
Email
your questions to
bachelorgirl@ducts.org!
