I did not smoke enough cigarettes in front of skinny neighbor girl's apartment door today. I run out after smoking second pack. I ask wife Yetna to go buy more. Yetna shouts at me. She tells me to go [Russian Expletive] myself.

I wait and wait for Yetna to break down and buy cigarettes. Finally at 1:00 pm I am climbing walls. I walk to 7-11 and buy cigarettes. I will not share them with Yetna. I come back to apartment building and smoke three cigarettes in front of skinny neighbor girl's apartment door.

At 3:00 pm my cell phone rings. It is Pavel. I do not want Yetna to hear my conversation, so I go outside and talk in front of skinny neighbor girl's apartment door. Skinny girl does not speak Russian, so I am safe. I light up cigarette.

I yell at Pavel for calling me on cell phone. Anyone can trace call. Pavel yells back and calls me a bald [Russian Expletive.] He tells me to meet him at Long Beach Pier tomorrow at midnight. He wants me to bring trash bags and a saw. I yell at him again. How can he be so stupid to ask me this on cell phone? Anyone can be listening!

In rage, I pound fist on skinny neighbor girl's apartment door. Skinny girl opens it and glares at me like scared, angry deer. She needs to gain 20 pounds. She looks like skeleton.

At 5:00 pm I find Yetna standing outside wearing fuzzy pink bathrobe. She is smoking cigarette. I ask her where she gets cigarette and she tells me to go [Russian Expletive] myself with a [Russian Expletive.] I want to hit her, but I yell at her for 40 minutes instead.

If I hit her, police might come and find human fingers stored in freezer.

-T.

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