Britney Spears Kidnaps Jolie-Pitt Kids
Los Angeles, February 5, 2008
Oops, she did it again! After seeming to put her life back in order – and still faced with the possibility of losing her children to her ex-husband Kevin Federline, Britney Spears has kidnapped the children of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie – Maddox, Zahara, Pax and Shiloh – and is currently holding them hostage at a Fatburger in Santa Monica. “These kids travel too much!” the pop-tart was overheard yelling out of the restaurant’s drive thru window. “We live here now!” she screamed. But is a Fatburger the best place to raise children? Beverly Hills nutritionist Jane Wonderbeak, who has not treated the Jolie-Pitt children, says, “If she feeds Shiloh, say, a Kingburger with a fried egg on it, the child could explode.” Yikes. Britney, please, don’t feed that baby one more time!
What do YOU think?
Crzzygrl101 writes:
Omg, Brit, I luv ya babe, but get back on the meds. ;)
Prityh8musheen writes:
Um... what? Why do we care about some tramp stealing the illegitimate children of two robots? Why are we still talking about this? Someone should give Trash-ney an appletini and shoot her into space. Celebrities are all just rich, pampered jerks who won’t stop rubbing my inadequacies in my face.
Bobandjaniceinlove writes:
Here is a little girl who is in pain. She is a human being and clearly has serious problems just like the rest of us. Why can’t we stop judging her? Because we like some of her songs?
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General Motors to Cut 92% of Staff, Vows to Just Make Steering Wheels
Detroit, February 5, 2008
General Motors, perhaps recognizing the apparent hopelessness of their fiscal prospects, stated that it would throw up its hands and “just give up,” according to a company spokesman. “People hate GM cars. And we understand that,” said Barney Eldridge, just before losing his job. “But they love our steering wheels.”
What do YOU think?
Crzzygrl101 writes:
omg, those poor people. :0 My dad used to have a Ford... but then he got a job! Hahahaha lol.
Prityh8musheen writes:
Oh, boo-hoo, a bunch of morons lost their jobs. Who cares? It’s called capitalism, jerks. Deal with it.
Bobandjaniceinlove writes:
What everyone seems to be forgetting is that those people that lost their jobs. They’re real human beings, not characters in the latest video game, “Buck Rogers” or “Spartacus” or whathaveyou.
Prityh8musheen writes:
Buck Rogers? What r u, 100? How did u lrn 2 use a computer? Or do u think this glowing box is alive? And r u Bob or Janice? Make up yr mind!
Bobandjaniceinlove writes:
Ah, ageism. The last refuge of a simple minded delinquent. I hope you one day become unemployed and feel the pain and humiliation of joblessness. And Janice and I are separated, if you must know.
Billybilly888888 writes:
Dearest One,
What is your name! My name is Billy and my sister, also named Billy, live in Nigeria in Africa – have you heard of it? I love Spider-Man, too. But our parents are dead. Militia jackals burned our home, called us names, taught us incorrect arithmetic. Will you help us? Father told us to find non-jackal Americans to save our US$5million before the government jackals find it. You can have 10% of the money. And you can maybe have sister Billy. Please send your bank account number and social security number so I can send the money to you. God bless you. And Spider-Man bless you.
30 Iraqi School Children Are Injured in a Wave of Sectarian Violence
Kerbala, February 5, 2008
A school field trip took a turn for the worst as a bus carrying 30 school children was caught in the crossfire between Sunnis, Shiites, Kurds and, curiously, Mexican Zapatistas in Kerbala yesterday.
What do YOU think?
Crzzygrl101 writes:
TMI! (jk!) Seriously, who takes a bus to school? Lol.
Prityh8musheen writes:
Helloooooooo? There’s a war going on, everybody. Maybe a field trip is not the best idea. And why should we feel more sorry for kids than we do for adults? Because they’re smaller?
Bobandjaniceinlove writes:
Prityh8musheen, I hope you are never in a position of power or have a say in anything. You’re talking about children!
Prityh8musheen writes:
What I’m talking about, bobandjaniceinlove, is reality. u can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs, and u can’t free a country without injuring some children.
Crzzygrl101 writes:
Omg, a friend of mine just sent me a hilarious joke about Priscilla Presley’s face. Lol. Wtf? Brb.
Bobandjaniceinlove writes:
I didn’t understand any of that. Was it English? Was it even human?
Prityh8musheen writes:
Whoa, look who’s deciding what’s human – the half man/half woman. Look, this isn’t one of your she-male-child love chat rooms. You’re not going to find a mate here, weirdo.
Bobandjaniceinlove writes:
Very mature, Prityh8musheen. I suppose anyone that accuses you of being an ignoramus is a pervert, is that it? Well, then, yes, I guess I am a pervert.
Prityh8musheen writes:
He admitted it! Help! Predator alert! So what upset you more about the busload of children? That they were hurt or that you didn’t get to touch them?
Crzzygrl101 writes:
Omg, u guys. Nervous lol. My father just had a heart attack. They took him to the hospital!
Prityh8musheen writes:
Newsflash, crzzygrl101. No one cares! Wait, is there a children’s ward? Bobandjaniceinlove might want to come with you.
Bobandjaniceinlove writes:
That’s it, I’m signing off. I was just trying to read the news!
Crzzygrl101 writes:
Hfs, Britney just got married again! Inside the Fatburger! To one of the burgers!
Prityh8musheen writes:
Ugh, I wish Britney had been on that bus with those Iraqi kids. Whoopi Goldberg, too.
Crzzygrl101 writes:
Lol. Prityh8musheen, are you cute?
Prityh8musheen writes:
Maybe. Are you fat?
Crzzygrl101 writes:
Nope.
Prityh8musheen writes:
Any self esteem?
Crzzygrl101 writes:
I wish!
Prityh8musheen writes:
IM me. britneysucks@im.com
Crzzygrl101 writes:
;P
Bobandjaniceinlove writes:
I’m back.
Bobandjaniceinlove writes:
Hello?
Bobandjaniceinlove writes:
:(
Jjennny69 writes:
Hiya!
I have nothing to do at night and I just moved to town and need to talk to someone and I want to show you something. Are you interested?
Bobandjaniceinlove writes:
Yes. Yes, I am.